Funeral Diaries

 "We understand death only after it has placed it's hands on someone we love."

So well has the author Anne L. De Stael understood this abstract yet real phenomenon. Maybe I too find a reflection in it after I lost a dear one to the poisonous pangs of death. The loss left me cold and clammy like the beveled body.  BODY that's what we call when a walking, talking mortal becomes immortal. He may be my friend, my neighbor, my father, my nobody and sometimes my everybody yet the moment breath becomes air he is just a BODY. People assembled in grieving moods inquire, "When will the BODY arrive? When will the last rites be performed? Are there any prayer meets later?" Whose convinence is sort where? 

"Not today dear, please die on the weekend. There is a new client coming to close the deal. Your deal closure will be celebrated on a Sunday." Can't we make such requests? Can't we just have a pre-scheduled appointment with death? Why can't we plan our death if we can plan the exact date and time of birth by a C-section to have a smooth life ahead, we need to make the extra-terrestial journey even smoother. No. Destiny just doesn't see it as a win-win situation. Ok not for convenience of the to-be departed passenger but at least to fix the priorities of the relatives waving at the airport. The passenger has to anyways go to the skies but the waving hands have many unhandled jobs calling for their immediate attention. So an appointment is must, I plead. 

How selfish is the departing soul! Forget it doesn't thing about a family and hell lot of unfinished businesses yet it ought to think of about the one day mourners who cry, wail and beat the BODY's chest as if reviving it from the cardiac arrest. The mask of grief they wear suits them so well.

If it wasn't for these performances the limelight would have never been on the BODY. Still you have some show stealers who discuss the rituals like they are discussing the fate of the estranged family. 

"Only four people to carry the BODY while going around the pyre in precise Four rounds. Mind you first two rounds the head facing the north while in the last two the legs should be facing the north." Such P. T teachers are the real show stoppers. I wonder are they fulfiling their childhood dream of being an Olympics coach. My head starts spinning while standing in rapt attention to this deadly scene. 

For some the rituals, the person dying are secondary. The priority is on self image and grooming. Who wears what? Uski saree meri saree se safed kaise? Whether you wear a white or offwhite has a lot of bearing on the grey ashes of the BODY. 

"Oh chikankeri! New exhibition in town? How's the sale?" 

Wardrobe upgradation for the next fancy funeral. People don't forget to reprimand you if you have lost the consciousness of food and clothing. WHITE MEANS WHITE so what if hearing the news your iris too has turned white? Rules are rules no amount of loss replaces a solid, death rule. 

These are some very close characters who characteristically stand out in any death scene. The story is not yet over for there are some who encash this opportunity to be mobile matrimonial sites. Some even suggesting the widow by the BODY to take the plunge again. From the point of view of the fresh widow, sati should never have been demolished. At least it saves her from the RELATIVE disaster. 

Sorry folks my language has been brutal and murdering but believe me the impact has left me a living dead. If nothing at least don't call that friend, brother, wife, sister a body once it walks into eternal sleep. Please don't allow the rudimentary rules to kill the life of the survivor. MICCHAMI DUKKADAM if I have hurt your mournings. May I find peace. Don't wear that mask of genuine grief. It's ok not to have affected by one soul less on this earth. 

Lastly, to the one who has left us grieving anytime, anywhere, 

"Come back even as a shadow, even as a dream. Just come back."