TSUJONOPHOBIA

TSUJONOPHOBIA. Don't run away! I ain't abusing you. To abuse you, I need to first use you, exploit use and then when the remains of your scrap don't yield a darn fruitful thing, I will abuse you. In first place, to use you, do I know how to operate a simple Samsung Galaxy (whichever number it is trending)? Then how can I use the near to perfect creation of the heavenly Bill Gates( its high time we have a physical name to God rather than a metaphysical one like Bhagwan or Allah or any Tom Dick or Harry)? So, after all the beating around the metaphorical bush, I admit I can't use or abuse normal, plaintive individuals like you. For I have TSUJONOPHOBIA!

Now that humongous word, was drilled into my dictionary this morning by a good social media inspired friend. What's in the name? As our literary father says, I call him only friend. A friend who just helped me diagnose my eons of misery where I always felt to be a black sheep. ABNORMAL for me or as I have seen it spreading like wildfire in the society, is perpetually a black sheep. Something different that doesn't match the 90% of odd population, isn't an even ideology. 

Skipped milestones-abnormal, not enjoyed school- abnormal, can't sit stiff for ages- abnormal, above 90%- opting for arts- abnormal, crushing on same gender person in college-hugely abnormal, wanting to pursue wrestling being a girl- doublely hugely abnormal, marrying but not wanting a child- abnormally ousted, wanting to flip careers when at peak of it- let's not talk about this even.

I have done majority of these, once a friend confessed. I was in awe of her because she was proud of calling herself abnormal. "If that's what makes me happy, I'm ready to be labeled. I'm ready to be called non-pragmatic. I'm thrilled to meet the real me, every morning in the mirror. And I take pride in every ounce of earth and sky, I have created for myself. My own abnormal ecosystem."

Her Oscar winning speech did spark a few connections in my neurons. But most of them were of fear, anguish and zillions of such downtrodden emotions. After such multitudes of sparks, there was a short circuit. 

BHOOMMB!!! Everything just fired out. Every possible understanding dead. Every notion murdered. Every belief strangulated. Every normal value system shot dead. Nothing survived this holocaust. Absolutely nothing. For a brief spell, I felt broken and shattered. Devastated and dumped. What was I thriving on for years, suddenly seemed insignificant. The grass grown on seeds of normalcy started appearing as a mirage. 

What I see is fallacy, what I don't see is real gold!

A drop of fruitful realization seeped into the barren mind. A crooked sappling emerged breaking the shells of dogmatism. It grew unstructured, unadulterated on pure purpose of living its abnormal life. No agendas to provide, to nurture, to seek approval of its fellow brothers or even sisters for matters of classic clarity. It just grew. It bore fruits which where sour, sweet, bitter with no clear demarcation of one independent flavor. A cocktail as you would love to call it. A MOCKTALE it loved to call itself. But it grew to be one of its kind, to be abnormal in every possible fibre of its body. 

Do l need to tell you more about this sapling to sapphire story? Yes, sapphire, coz abnormals are rare, unique in their own distinct design. You like it or not abnormal is the new normal. On a scale, they are beyond zeroes. Precisely, that's why they are happy for they have zero to lose. If at all they gain something, it's a number.

To wind up the long trail, I have TSUJONOPHOBIA. I fear all that is normal and keep safe distance from it. Zero tolerance towards being called Normal. By the way, why are the normals even reading this? Abnormality is worst than the pandemic. Stay away it might catch you unawares. Thanks to the pandemic, you made me believe in the new normal or abnormal or whatever. Who cares? Do you?

Thus, to live life blissfully stay foolish, stay hungry and stay abnormal.